I suppose being me is not the solution anymore.

Everyday, I’m reminded of how imperfect I am, whether is it my intelligence or my size or my beauty. Today’s looking-at-everyone-eating-pizza late lunch just threw me over the cliff. It was NOT FUN having to sit through the entire meal with the Stuffed-crust, Meat Galore pizza right in front of me, yet I can’t eat it. I suppose I deserve it because of my size, but if that’s the case, I rather go out less, or should I say, have lesser meals with people. It’s not fun at all to see them eating a super nice meal in front of you, especially when you already finished your salad. & then the shopping? Even more waste of time. I wasted a nice 4 hours, doing what I HATE THE MOST. It’s NOT ENJOYABLE at all, and I wished they went to somewhere else instead of Jurong Point so that I have a reason to reject.

These few weeks, it’s like a huge cloud hanging over my head, whether is it school, work, unichannel or Nicholas. & much as I’m doing my best to push away my favourite commitment, somehow I find I still don’t have time for my remaining commitments.

I’m really tired, social interaction is suddenly so much harder than before. Maybe I should hide in my shell or something. I see no joy in anything, anymore.

On a sidenote, I’m sorry I’m a burden today.

On another sidenote, I have cut off a certain social media platform, simply because I’m tired of interacting with humans. Just realised it means it will be harder to contact Nic now, but at least I have sms. Until I’m comfortable again, I’m not going back there.

Maybe, this diet is making me go crazy/

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2 Responses to Exhausted.

  1. janenoplain05 says:

    Try these for short workouts everyday! It helped me keep fit during my As with the limited free time I had, and I’m sure it will come in handy for you when you’re really busy! Also try cutting down carbs and eating more meat/veg! that way you’ll be filling up with the right stuff(: I was once pretty chubby too and it took me a couple of months to lose weight – these things don’t come easy so keep pressing on and don’t be too hard on yourself ma’am.

    About the intelligence part… it is natural to feel stupid and outsmarted, since there will always be people smarter than you wherever you are. This applies to everyone in both academic and non-academic contexts, so you are not alone! Whatever it is, just constantly search for opportunities to let your strengths shine and to improve yourself(:

    This post was quite some time back so idk if these things will be handy still. I hope they are though.

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