I suppose being me is not the solution anymore.
Everyday, I’m reminded of how imperfect I am, whether is it my intelligence or my size or my beauty. Today’s looking-at-everyone-eating-pizza late lunch just threw me over the cliff. It was NOT FUN having to sit through the entire meal with the Stuffed-crust, Meat Galore pizza right in front of me, yet I can’t eat it. I suppose I deserve it because of my size, but if that’s the case, I rather go out less, or should I say, have lesser meals with people. It’s not fun at all to see them eating a super nice meal in front of you, especially when you already finished your salad. & then the shopping? Even more waste of time. I wasted a nice 4 hours, doing what I HATE THE MOST. It’s NOT ENJOYABLE at all, and I wished they went to somewhere else instead of Jurong Point so that I have a reason to reject.
These few weeks, it’s like a huge cloud hanging over my head, whether is it school, work, unichannel or Nicholas. & much as I’m doing my best to push away my favourite commitment, somehow I find I still don’t have time for my remaining commitments.
I’m really tired, social interaction is suddenly so much harder than before. Maybe I should hide in my shell or something. I see no joy in anything, anymore.
On a sidenote, I’m sorry I’m a burden today.
On another sidenote, I have cut off a certain social media platform, simply because I’m tired of interacting with humans. Just realised it means it will be harder to contact Nic now, but at least I have sms. Until I’m comfortable again, I’m not going back there.
Maybe, this diet is making me go crazy/