Love, a lifelong journey of unanswered questions.

In recent months, it’s been pretty hard to be just me, but why?

Yes, I admit, it really sucks seeing everyone better at me…whether is it in university, fitness, or even other halves. My turtle is fine, it’s just that… I seem to compare him with others quite a number of times this year, and I really don’t like this attitude of mine. Is it because I want him to be like others when he’s not? I don’t know. How do I put it… It’s not that I’m not satisfied, it’s just that… certain parts of him, I really wish he would be better at. But if I keep comparing, won’t I appreciate him less?

& another thing, a close friend of mine raised this question to me recently: if ever, I find someone better at work, would I still stick with Turtle? That is a question I don’t know how to answer, except with a “wait and see”. He sees me as a “forever”… But I don’t. To me, anything can happen in the future, but would I break his heart? It would kill him so much inside, but won’t I be killed too, for obliging loving someone?

I guess there’s so many things about love that I still don’t understand isn’t it. A battle between “true love prevails all” & both parties having the most payoffs from the relationship. 

For now, I’ll stick to loving him for who he is… Because he’s mine.


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